


faith falls hard on our shoulders

by gingergenower



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (disclaimer: this is not a clalec fic), Angst, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Clary Fray, Brotp, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 04:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12674262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingergenower/pseuds/gingergenower
Summary: He can hear Clary breathing, calm and trusting that he knows what he’s doing. He’s got to figure a way out of this.





	faith falls hard on our shoulders

**Author's Note:**

> the whole fandom knows the song I took the title from but if you don't, it's [live like legends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqX6GZ2nz88) by ruelle
> 
> look, I joined a new fandom and broke my own fanfiction-writing hiatus rule in one go because I gotta channel my inner Magnus and do everything with a lil bit of panache  
> 

Bow pulled taut under his fingers, Alec tracks an arrow along the edge of the clearing he and Clary are stood in for movement, but there’s nothing. In a forest this thick there isn’t so much a whisper of wind.

Hands glossy with his blood, Clary holds her seraph blade up and steady behind him. She improvised a tourniquet and the bite’s only bleeding sluggishly, but he’s still got most of his weight leaned off the wounded leg. He’s not sure how much weight it can take and if he falls down he won’t get back up again- but he can still shoot. Small mercies.

‘Did you see how many of them there are?’

Alec grits his teeth, swallowing down any emotion that will distract. He matches her, keeping his voice low and quiet. ‘No.’

‘You ok?’

Neither of them have their steles. Clary lent hers to Jace and Alec didn’t know, losing his by burying it in the neck of the demon that shredded his leg. He didn’t even get a good enough look at it to know what they’re fighting, but they were chased and they’re being toyed with.

Demons are good at patience when it makes the murder more fun.

‘This is the best possible situation we could have gotten into,’ Alec murmurs, adjusting his aim to a bush with a few fluttering leaves. ‘I’m thrilled.’

She doesn’t answer, waiting instead.

‘…I’m not going to pass out from blood loss yet.’

‘Oh, good,’ she says lightly. It’s Clary first mission out in the field as a fully-fledged Shadowhunter, and he figured he’d see how she’s holding up in the field when he decided splitting up would cover more ground. He’d been quietly impressed, but even now she’s not panicking. ‘Do you think the others-?’

‘They’ve been doing this for years. Focus.’

Izzy and Jace headed south about ten minutes ago. Mundanes were reporting vicious animal attacks and missing people in the area, enough to raise suspicion that Luke mentioned it to Alec, but none of them expected a situation where they might be ambushed. They came understaffed, and the other two might not be able to find them even if they tried.

‘Anything on your side?’

‘Nope.’

Shifting his back foot slightly, his leg screams out in pain, and he bites his lip to hold in the groan. He’s been still a few minutes too long- he won’t be able to walk.

Shit.

He grips his bow tighter. All he’s got left of this mission to salvage is getting the other three back safely, and he can and will keep Clary alive. She’s not dying because he’s an idiot. ‘They’re out there still.’

‘Yeah.’

The bush Alec was watching shudders, and his arrow catches the emerging demon between the eyes. It’s a dantalion, ugly and vicious and quick to die, and he pulls another arrow in place, ready for an onslaught.

There is no onslaught.

It’s more unnerving the more time passes. He can hear Clary breathing, calm and trusting he knows what he’s doing, and he’s got to figure a way out of this.

The lack of stele is the biggest problem. His leg would be healed and the pain gone if he had one, he could run, but Izzy and Jace don’t know to look for them to hand one over and finding the would take more than ten minutes. 

Roughly, ten minutes is when he thinks he’ll run out of arrows. They’ll have to fight close range and their chance of survival for any length of time will not be high.

He thinks. ‘Are you hurt at all?’

‘No, I’m fine.’

She can run. Fast, too- and she’s been training with Jace, she can handle the blade as well as anyone he’s seen in the Institute. She’s smart and determined and she killed Valentine with a pocket knife.

She’s a survivor.

Taking a steady breath, he makes the decision. ‘You need to go,’ he says, checking how many arrows he’s got left.

‘Hm?’

‘Find Izzy and Jace.’

She pauses, confused. ‘You can’t run, we won’t be able to-’

‘I know. _You_ need to go.’

A little intake of breath- the option she’d never even think of- and she doesn’t sound conflicted or angry or scared, only certain. ‘I can’t leave you.’

‘I’d slow you down.’

‘I’m not leaving you, Alec.’

‘It’s not a request and you’re not Jace. Do as you’re told.’

‘We don’t know how many are out there, there could be hundreds-’

‘A few will go for you.’ He can’t promise they won’t, but he’ll stink of blood- the whole forest will be able to smell him- and they’ll sense an easy kill. ‘But I’ll have your back. You can do this.’

‘I can’t. I _won’t_. I won’t leave you.’

To her, it must be a betrayal to leave his side. To Alec, it’s the only way either of them might survive. ‘Fray, that’s an order.’

‘You’ll die.’

Yes, maybe. ‘I won’t.’

‘We’ve got a better chance together,’ she says.

‘ _I’ve_ got a better chance if we’re together,’ Alec says.

Her breathing hitches; he knows better than to try and take it back. 

It’s the truth. He’s endangering her just by standing next to her; a target all but painted on his back in his own blood, weaker every second, out of choices and out of time he’s got nothing except sending her away. He shouldn’t have even let her touch his leg. She’s got blood on her too- they might smell that. Hopefully, they’ll be frenzied over the open wound on him and he’s bled enough that they won’t notice her over it.

Another demon, another arrow. Alec wouldn’t be panicked except Clary hasn’t moved. ‘If you don’t leave I will de-rune you.’

‘No, you won’t.’ He’s about to argue, but she grabs his shoulder and chin in the air-stubbornness that reminds him of when they first met- she holds his gaze with a fierce stare. ‘If you die, so help you I will raise you from the dead _to kill you again_. Do you understand?’

‘Find the others, go to the Institute, get backup,’ he says, shifting his gaze back to the treeline. ‘I’ll be fine.’

There’s a noise behind them- Alec spins on his heel and catches the demon before it makes three paces, pausing to bite back the scream of the ripping agony of pain that shoots up his leg. Then he turns back to Clary, who’s eying the treeline. 

He points with his next arrow. ‘Straight up there. They’re about a mile away, maybe heading towards us.’

‘Parabatai?’

‘Parabatai.’

Blade ready, she nods, taking a deep breath. ‘I’m coming back for you. Don’t die.’

‘I’ll do my best.’

Charging into the darkness, Clary swishes the blade not too far ahead of him and Alec hears a yelp. He catches another demon that tries to chase after her, but she’s already heavy-thudding running again and he soon loses track of where she is.

Just out of sight, the demons are getting impatient. A victim escaped and another’s vulnerable- he listens, but it’s like sensory overload. They’re moving all around him.

Two demons. Two arrows.

He’s not sure what’ll kill him but it’ll most likely be weakness from blood loss. He’ll miss an important cue, an arrow won’t meet its mark; teeth will sink into his throat.

A demon dies and trips another over. Alec reloads and catches the second in the heart.

It might be quick. It probably won’t. He’s not going to make it easy.

***

Alec’s glad Clary isn’t there when he runs out of arrows.

Sometimes he tells himself it’s the parabatai bond messing with him, emotions that aren’t his overriding what he actually feels for her, but he knows that’s not true. Clary’s important to everyone else in his life and he mostly decided to accept her, but worrying about her safety’s so second nature to him now she’s more like an unwelcome second little sister.

He’s never told her he does care, but maybe she already knows. Maybe it’s alright if she doesn’t know.

Pulling out his seraph blade, he’s not sure how long it’s been, but it took him longer to use his arrows than he thought. He’s held up for a respectable amount of time. It’d be alright to die now.

A demon slashed in two, he spins and bends low to swipe at another and thinks, oh. Shouldn’t have done that.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand up again. He knee collapses.

Alec hears the demon charging at him from behind and he can’t turn fast enough and something cracks and it yelps-

And it yelps.

Izzy’s whips snaps at another, frying it, and Jace’s blade buries itself in the throat of one right in front of Alec. Reaching over, Alec yanks it out and tosses it to Jace, who snatches it out of the air and leaps over Alec, plunging in into a demon.

Covering his other side, Izzy isn’t followed by anyone else.

‘Where’s Clary?’

‘At the Institute,’ Jace says, seeming to enjoy hacking one particularly big demon to pieces. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I’m not dead.’

Jace grins, and Izzy rolls her eyes.

Exposed down on the floor, Alec tries to figure out how to stand up but his leg crumbles underneath him and he staggers over, falling backwards. He swears, looking at his leg for the first time properly; the skin’s torn like paper, his calf torn open.

He winces, deciding he doesn’t want to know if he can see his own bone, and he’d ask for a stele but Izzy and Jace are both busy saving his ass.

Anyway, Magnus will make sure it doesn’t scar. He does not let himself feel the relief of knowing he’ll see Magnus again. He does not think about holding him and falling asleep in his arms tonight.

There’s a lull in demons, and Alec isn’t sure how he managed to hold up against that many of them. The clearing looks more like a demon slaughtering arena. ‘Is there an escape plan coming into effect at some point?’

‘The first objective was you not dying, big brother,’ Izzy says.

Jace smirks. ‘And we succeeded!’

‘Congratulations, you’re both excellent Shadowhunters,’ Alec says flatly. ‘What’s the second objective?’

‘Not dying ourselves?’ Jace says. ‘Clary’s on it.’

With a grunt, Alec tightens Clary’s belt by another notch around his leg and tries to keep his breathing even. He’s not safe, adrenaline drained out of him with the blood, but he’s exhausted. His eyes flutter, half closed.

Jace doesn’t glance down at him as he shoves his hand in his pocket- Alec knows he can feel pain and exhaustion like a dull burn- and tosses Clary’s stele at Alec, who catches it with a blood-sticky hand. Yanking up his shirt and tracing over the iratze on his waist, the pain’s overwhelmed by warmth, even breathing easier, and he feels stronger.

Hand held out to him, Jace hauls him back to his feet, checking him over. ‘You’ll be alright.’

‘Always am.’

It turns out there is a plan- they hear a distant shout in the darkness, Jace yells back their location, and what looks like half the Institute emerges through the trees. As Alec’s mostly-unofficial second-in-command, Jace starts issuing orders to deal with the demon infestation properly, and Alec’s too tired to argue with the implication that he’s done today.

A tiny redhead sprints across the across the clearing, and Clary stops right in front of Alec, staring at him.

Alec feels the blood drain out of his face when he sees the half-healed claw marks scored into her shoulder, but she doesn’t seem to feel any pain when she throws herself into his arms, gripping him tight.

He swallows, hugging her gently. That only makes her cling more, and he worries she’s hurting herself she’s giving so little thought for her own injury, but he doesn’t say anything.

‘Are you ok?’ she asks into his chest.

‘I’m fine. Are you?’

‘Yeah.’

Sometimes a calculated risk is all the head of the Institute has. He knows that. He can’t apologize for putting her life on the line no matter how much he wants to because that’s his job. Besides, somehow they’re both alive.

When she pulls back, her eyes are bright with tears but she doesn’t look away or try to hide them, just smiles. Alec, despite himself, takes her hand and squeezes it.

They haven’t said anything, really, but they don’t need to. The both understand what doesn’t need saying out loud.

She lets go of him to scrawl her portal rune in the air, and they walk through it together.

**Author's Note:**

> also I am aware of plot holes because of mobile phones but they are 100% in a place with so much magic phones don’t work  
> like hogwarts  
> (…ok new headcanon they’re in the forbidden forest)


End file.
